Self Help Anger Management
Why would you consider self help anger management? You don't typically hear anyone complaining about being too happy, excited, or eager for good things to happen.
Yet, when someone takes to anger even a little too strongly, you will see others react negatively.
This is because strong emotions directly affect yourself and others, and anger is a very strong emotion.
When one person gets angry, it can easily make others uncomfortable if not properly controlled and expressed.
Swept Away by Rage
Further, extreme anger can lead to dangerous situations when left uncontrolled. This emotion can completely overtake a person and they can do things that they would not normally do, and which will be regretted in the future.
Many people who commit crimes and abuse others take those actions while they are overcome with anger to the point of uncontrollable rage.
You may not think that your anger problem is anywhere near that point, but you never if it will get to that point without proper control. What does it mean to control anger? It basically means that you learn to do the following
- Acknowledge when you are starting to feel anger
- Remove yourself from the immediate situation
- Calm yourself down so the anger is not felt as intensely
- Calmly express what is making you happy
- Accept the response of others, even if it is not what you want
Those dealing with anger typically struggle with one or more of these objectives.
Many people find it incredibly difficult to walk away from a situation making them angry, while others grow even angrier when others do not respond in the manner they think appropriate.
This is where self help anger management comes into play. You can work with self-guided resources to get your anger under control. This simply means you start to master strategies for keeping your anger in check.
This starts with learning to recognize how anger feels in your body. Many people with intense anger will feel tension somewhere in their body, or they may feel like their mind goes blank and they cannot think straight or focus on anything else but the source of anger. You do not have to suffer with extreme anger to have a physical response.
Once you have learned to identify oncoming anger, you have to train yourself to walk away from intense situations long enough to calm down.
You can practice deep breathing exercises, or close your eyes and focus on a particular thought, word or image that you find calming and peaceful. You may even need a longer period of time away from the source of anger before you feel able to calmly discuss the issues.
Many people find it useful to take up hobbies such as yoga or Pilates on a routine basis. This helps establish a more peaceful state of mind, even when anger is not being experienced. When something does happen to bring on anger, it is much easier to use breath control and other calming techniques learned from yoga and Pilates.
Journaling is another technique that can be used for self help anger management. Writing down all of the things that are causing the anger will often bring out deeper issues. Many people discover that they feel things that they have not been consciously aware of in the past. They understand where their anger is coming from, and that helps them control it in future situations.
Sometimes the issues are so complicated or painful that it helps to start going in for therapy sessions with a professional. Some people are able to figure out their anger alone through workbooks and other resources, but others benefit from exploring on their own and then going deeper with a professional trained to tap into their deeper issues.
Finally, you have to learn how to handle confrontation and negotiation without allowing anger to completely overcome your mind. You can learn to feel anger without screaming at someone else or getting violent. You should be able to express your concerns and listen to others with differing opinions without allowing the anger to overtake you.
A lot of anger stems from the inability to control others, and that is something that needs to be accepted. Controlling anger means acknowledging that other people are going to do their own thing, and there is no way for you to make them do what you want them to do. If a particular person routinely does things that make you angry, then the best thing you can do is cut them out of your life so the anger is not experienced.
The most important element of self help anger management is knowing when to reach beyond yourself and ask for help.
Self help anger management has its limits, and that's also true for the patience and flexibility of your social environment.
If you cannot control your anger on your own, recognize that and seek professional help. If you do not do that, then your anger will affect others and eventually it will negatively impact your loved ones, colleagues and your own life.
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